The Full Moon is a Mirror
How astrology can help us like what we see in its reflection
Hello friends,
Thank you so much for your subscribes, follows, and messages of support since starting this newsletter. It’s a humbling process to write from the heart, to weave feelings into thoughts into words. I’m grateful to feel seen by you, and excited to see you out there and be in dialogue with you as this project grows.
Seeing- and being seen- is what it’s all about
I launched this newsletter on the last new moon, when the sun and moon were joined together in the part of the sky known as Aquarius. As I write this, the light of the full moon streams in my dining room window from the opposite side of the sky, from the lion constellation Leo.
I’m noticing how much my energy has shifted over two weeks as the moon has waxed from new to full. I came back to reality from the lilikoi-buttery sweetness of my Hawaii Volcano vacation a little over a week ago, and have felt like I’ve hit the ground running… spinning… falling… flailing. It’s been an unexpectedly bumpy landing, filled with insomnia, conflict, loss, confusion… and a couple of crafty field mice that made home inside my car, chewing through my phone cable and center console. .
As I listen to the collective musings of friends, people in my community, and the news over the past week, I’ve noticed a strong mirroring of these feelings of confusion and urgency all around. Lots of things seem to be up for people. Changing relationship dynamics, changing sense of home and place, career changes, big moves, sudden losses, new choices suddenly on the table, sparks of innovation. Earthquakes, ice storms, spy balloons. It’s been intense. Alive. And… overwhelming.
Looking out at the bright moonlit night, it makes me think about the way full moons have always made me feel, ever since I was a kid.
Like this, mostly.
This face shows the the sensation of a sudden onset of rapid change, seeing or feeling something new that couldn’t be unseen, the urgency of wanting to do something about it, but not knowing quite what to do. Me and Teen Wolf, confused, at a loss, howling at the moon, tossing and turning in bed.
I didn’t always pay attention to what phase the moon was in, but from an early age I would notice times during the month when I was more energized, emotionally awake, aware. Noticing how full moons affected me was the first instance of actually feeling the effects of a celestial transit in my body. And after not being able to hide from the feeling, I would look at the calendar and say, hey…. it’s a full moon! …of course it’s a full moon.
The heightened awareness and energy around full moons would either make me feel really irritable and short tempered, or really excited and full of creativity (…of course it’s a full moon, I just finished the painting I’ve been stuck working on, and it’s freaking awesome! or …of course it’s a full moon, my crush finally talked to me! But more often, it was: of course it’s a full moon, I’m deep in a fight with my best friend. Of course it’s a full moon, my anxiety is off the charts…)
Whether a full moon would lead to a breakdown or a breakthrough was hard to predict. Over time, I started to notice that answer really depended how balanced and integrated my inner and outer worlds felt felt at the time. If I’d been pushing emotions down pretending something was ok when it wasn’t, full moons would illuminate that lack of connection with myself, and my nervous system would go haywire - fighting, fleeing, numbing. Often times, the only solution seemed to be howling in anguish, like a werewolf chained to the confusion an irreconcilable fate. But in the times when my external world and my inner world felt like they were aligned, seeing each other, the full moon would illuminate that connection between the inner and outer, and I’d feel lit up, harmonious, and happy.
I think most of us feel this connection to the moon, and it feels strange to even question that connection at all at this point in my life. But growing up in this capitalist, western, American society that, because of our emphasis on technology (ie artificial lighting), urbanization, and individualism/ ‘rational’ thought, I think we are overall quite disconnected from the truly cyclical nature of the larger universe. And I can see why I have, at times, felt a little silly and superstitious for actually believing that a rock in the sky could affect my feelings and behavior.
I know that for many it’s easy to feel collective energy or chaos during a full moon, and then dismiss that experience just as quickly as the moon starts to wane. But for me, once I started to see the moon as a mirror, I couldn’t look away.
Which is how I came to astrology.
Feeling the undeniable energy of full moons in my body was my first foot in the door into learning the language of astrology. As I’ve grown to understand that language, I have started to feel the same embodied sensations with the other planets and celestial bodies in orbit as I do with the moon. As the earth, moon, and planets move through space in this continuously spiraling dance, I have also started to know that my body, as a part of this earth, is part of this dance.
The coolest thing to me is that we are all part of this dance. Every unique culture across the globe- truly, all of our ancestors - have found meaning, understanding, and connection with the the sun, moon, planets and stars that we see moving above us. While each specific cosmology is unique, they have all been a part of creating the language of astrology through deeply personal relationships with the skies - starting from the earliest days of human consciousness. I see these relationships as the basis for the largest, deepest, most extensive collective mythology the world has ever known.
The more I tap into this language, these languages, and the more I drop into the feelings that these cycles evoke in my body, the more I am able to integrate their messages and understand myself deeper - as a sovereign yet integral part of the larger world around me. In grounding into this sense of sovereignty, I feel more able to grow into all my relationships within a cosmic, expansive frame of reference. And that feels.. exciting.
The Moon as a Mirror, and the Power of Oppositions
Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate. -Carl Jung
As I’ve become more attuned with the movements of the moon through its annual cycles, I’ve deepened my understanding of how it makes me feel, beyond the generalized notions of simply being ‘energized’ or ‘out-of-whack’. I now see that there are distinctive, seasonal themes that each full moon throughout the year illuminates and brings to our emotional awareness- monthly opportunities to make our unconscious conscious, and to grow through that process.
Full moons, by their nature, are mirrors: opposing entities looking directly at each other, reflecting each other’s light. From our POV here on Earth a full moon happens when the sun and moon are in the opposite sides of the sky (by contrast, a new moon happens when the moon conjoins the sun in the same area of the sky). For a short time, sun is exactly 180 degrees from the moon, shining light fully on her beautifully cratered face. (In astro-speak, a full moon = moon-opposition-sun.) The rapidly-moving moon represents our emotions and and inner world, so during a full moon our inner world is mirrored by the sun, which represents our ego, our sense of individuality, & how we shine.
Oppositions of any 2 celestial bodies are great opportunities for us to gaze deeper into a mirror, noting the similarities within the differences of two contrasting areas of life. The sun and moon’s locations across the celestial wheel of the Zodiac (the band of constellations through which the sun, moon, and planets appear to travel along their paths, from here on earth) determine what areas of life are illuminated, through the polarities of the signs.
So… what’s your sign?
A Zodiac sign is a segment of the sky that the sun, moon, and planets travel across over time. Each sign is 1/12th of the 360 degrees of the Zodiac circle. Signs are represented by constellations that most of us are familiar with- Aries the ram, Taurus the bull, Gemini the twins, and so on. Each sign refers to the same quantity of space in the Zodiac wheel (30 degrees), while each actual constellation varies greatly in size. With that in mind, I think it’s important to note is that each of these constellations is just a signpost that helps us (and helped our ancestors) measure the movement of the sun, moon, and planets in relation to us on earth over periods of time.
To simplify: a sign is the backdrop of far-off stars and constellations that our sun, moon, and neighboring planets appear to pass through as we move through the seasons of time here on Earth. Over the course of human history, the seasonal cycles that are referenced by these signposts have helped attribute meaning to our lives as human beings. Millions of specific myths and stories- from cultures from Africa to Mesopotamia to Greece to India to China- have pointed to these constellations as a framework for seasonal changes, and these myths are what that the language of astrology draws upon today.
So, for all you astro-skeptics out there: your “sign” (aka sun sign, aka where the sun was located along the Zodiac cycle when you were born) doesn’t mean that a super-distant constellation was transmitting energy to earth that personally affects the path of your life, per se. But the sun (and the moon and each of the planets) being in a certain part of the sky does indicate a distinct temporal season here on earth - and this certainly does affect your life. In this way, I like to think of an individual’s astrology sign as a story about their individual relationship to the Earth, through the phases of seasons that parallel the phases of human lives- rather than thinking of it as something abstractly tying our personalities to the stars.
Finding power in opposition
Within the Zodiac wheel, each sign is polar opposite to another sign. When looking into the symbolism of the constellation’s archetypes, each pair of signs in many ways seem like opposites from each other. But on closer look, we see they are connected by a thematic axis that shows how these polarities are actually under a single umbrella of meaning. As the moon and other celestial bodies move through this wheel each calendar year, we have the opportunity to reflect on how integrated we are in a particular part of life.
The axes of these Zodiac pairs are as follows:
Aries opposite Libra: the axis of our identity.
Self identity (the Ram) vs. Identity in relation to others (the Scales)
Taurus opposite Scorpio: the axis of what we value.
Material values (the Bull) vs Transformational value (the Scorpion/Eagle/Phoenix)
Gemini opposite Sagittarius: the axis of communication and knowledge.
Conversational knowledge (the Twins) vs. Philosophical knowledge (the Archer)
Cancer opposite Capricorn: the axis of nurturance, growth & parenting.
Protective nurturing (the Crab) vs. Discipline-based nurturing (the Sea-goat)
Leo opposite Aquarius: The axis of expression & creation
Individual expression & creation (the Lion) vs. Interpersonal/Societal expression & creation (the Water-bearer )
Virgo opposite Pisces: The axis of devotion, service & healing.
Physical service (the Virgin harvesting crops) vs. spiritual service (2 fish swimming in the sea of things that are beyond knowing).
(More on each of these polarities, for sure, in posts to come!)
The axis of the season: the Lion and The Water-Bearer
The moon’s orbit around the earth and the the earth’s orbit around the sun gives us the opportunity to reflect on the themes of these Zodiacal opposites twice a year, with the emotions of the moon’s sign mirroring the outward expression of the sun’s sign.
For example, right now it’s Aquarius season, and the Leo full moon can help us reflect on how our feelings about our lionhearted self-expression, can be an important pot of water for the Aquarian water-bearer to pour into to the larger web of society.
6 months from now, in mid-summer when the sun is in the sign of Leo, the Aquarius full moon can help us reflect on how our feelings about the society and humanity in which we are enmeshed can affect each of our own personal creative expressions.
The dynamic tension between the Lion and the Water Bearer this full moon asked me the question:
“What changes need to happen in my life to balance my need for personal self-expression and creativity with the needs of society and humanity?”
The Lion and the Water Bearer’s polarity showed up for me hardcore in the act of writing this newsletter. My tendency in the past has been to want to have a nice shiny bow on something before I give it to the world for reflection. A finished work of art, a shiny website update, a business launch, a smile on my face, a brushed out lion’s mane. Only then could it be worthy of offering to the Water Bearer for adding to the web of social creation!
If I’m being honest right now and not turning away, I’ll tell you this: I wanted to send out a deeply profound, original message- a manifesto, even- to give to you readers now that you have signed up. To prove to you that following my musings is worth your while. I wanted it to be meaningful for each and every one of you- my mom, my dear friend, my acquaintance who I haven’t seen in years, my new Instagram follower- and to be meaningful for the infinite potential pool of future readers, too. I wanted it to be personable, funny, deep, well-written, vulnerable, and impactful. This full moon has reminded me of the opposition between creation from a personal heart-space and creation for societal impact.
I didn’t expect the act of writing for an audience to be so much harder than writing in a journal, because my mind is constantly overflowing with ideas for posts and novels and dissertations. But, turns out, it is hard… really fucking hard! I’m embarrassed to say it, but the title and content of this singular post have each changed about 15 times before settling on writing about my evolving relationship to the moon. I feel like I just tried on 15 outfits - from jeans and a tee shirt to a sparkly dress to a unicorn onesie- to finally decide to not go out at all.
But in the spirit of learning and growing from full moons…. I’m gonna go ahead and throw on a pair of sweats, push “Publish”, and send this out anyway, despite how hard it feels. Because most of the time, deciding to go out (of that curated comfort zone) is where we can receive the most important messages that the mirror can show us. The simple act of showing up, is where the power is- seeing the truths and complexities of our lives reflected back at us without looking away, breaking down, or putting on rose colored glasses.
Reflection isn’t always easy…
The great thing about astrological oppositions is that they are temporary. They are not static. The moon, the sun, and all the planets in orbit keep on moving, every moment, every day, in cycles that span days, weeks, years, generations, eons. The temporariness of full moons reminds us that we live in a non-binary universe, and that a polar opposition is only one small part of a larger, continuous cycle.
Seizing the opportunity to witness oppositions and to relate with them as a mirror at every full moon is a major piece of my own personal growth process. But looking in a mirror is only one piece of the pie. When we look in a mirror and don’t like what we see looking back, it can throw us out of balance. (i.e I just impulsively dyed my hot hair pink, leaning into a whim that my 4 year old had, and almost fell over when catching a glance in my bathroom mirror). When that reflection comes back and it’s not all what we want to see, it’s easy to look away, to want to break the mirror, or to see what we want to see by turning the lights down low or slapping on a nice sparkly TikTok filter.
As I enter “middle age”, I have only just started embracing the realness that is being reflected back to me through the moon’s feelings and messages every month. It has taken me intentionally building up an anti-werewolf full-moon toolbox of inner resources- art-making, conscious breathing, exercise, therapy, building trust with myself and dear ones- to be able to handle some of the reflections each cycle brings.
And even with those tools, sometimes fighting, running away, freezing, or numbing out is all I can muster in the face of a powerful reflection. Getting to know ourselves, both our lights and our shadows, is a daunting task. Knowing that, I’ll say that the most powerful tool in my kit is simply reminding myself of the fact that we can’t possibly be in constant self-reflection-mode. We absolutely need to put the mirror down for a while and feeling into how the full moon’s messages show up in our lives, in more subtle ways.
The moon knows this intimately, showing us every night as her face changes shape. Since I started writing this post, the moon has moved on to the sign of Virgo, the harvesting maiden. After the urgency of needing to express myself in the sign of the Lion, the service-oriented nature of the Virgin is providing a space for me to feel into the ways in which the moon’s last reflections can be of service to my life, and how I can be of service to the messages as well.
As la luna wanes, she will take us through the end of Aquarius season and become new again when she meets up with the sun in Pisces. The darkness of new moons bring times of going inward, deepening with ourselves, sitting with what we already know inside, without directed external reflection. In the watery sign of Pisces, two fish swimming in opposite directions, the past cycle’s reflections integrate into our own personal, ethereal, spiritual wisdom. If we give them space, the dramatic revelations of the full moon can break down into rich compost- the verdant soil where the seed of a new cycle, a new beginning, can begin to grow.
Next up on Astrosomatics…
Over the next month or so, I’m planning to write a couple more posts on the basic elements of Astrology 101 and Somatics 101 to quench my desire to distill my learnings :).
Then, with the beginning of Aries season in March (the beginning of the Zodiacal new year), I plan to begin making posts that are less focused on words and analysis and more on embodiment practices that help integrate and compost the themes of each astrological season. Stay tuned for new vulnerability in the form of video and audio recordings!
In the meantime, I’d love to hear about your personal relationship with the moon! Drop me a message or post a comment if you’re so called. <3
Mirroring warmth to you as these wintry days get longer!
xo,
Alison