Hey there.
The asphalt is sizzling and I have a popsicle glued to my hand; here we find ourselves in the depths of emo-girl summer, the season of the Crab.
A few days ago we experienced a powerful full super-moon in Capricorn, in the opposite sign from Cancer, the formidable sea-goat. I spent that night sitting in my hot tub under the blinding headlight of a moon, feeling like I was going to practically get moon-burnt if I stayed out in it long enough. My partner and I got into a deep conversation about the tipping point in the quest for balance between listening to what our feelings are telling us in the moment versus staying pragmatic and focused on future goals.
The Sea-Goat and the Crab
As with all full moons, this lunation is a mirroring of similar-yet-opposite energies across the axis of the Zodiac. During full moons, the general vibe of the current season’s sign is met with a bright luminary in the opposite side of the sky, screaming “pay attention to me, too!”.
Cancer is home, nesting, internal, feeling, while Capricorn is questing, climbing, external, acting. What I love about the Capricorn archetype is the fact that the sea-goat contains the very notion of polarity within a mythological creature, the beast that can climb from the very bottom of the deepest sea to the very top of the highest mountain.
The Cancer/Capricorn axis is the axis of care and responsibility, with Cancer ruled by the moon and Capricorn ruled by Saturn. During this early summer season, the Cancer sun represents responsibility and care through nurturance and attunement, while the Capricorn moon on the opposite side of the sky represents responsibility and care through material structure, goals, and achievement.
If this soupy Cancerian heat has you deep in all your feels, wanting to curl up at home in your shell, this past Capricorn full moon was an opportunity to shine the light on your subconscious desires for tangible success and progress in the material world.
The Cancerian Nostalgia of Cleaning out Closets
Cancer season has brought a major organizing of the deep closets and cabinets and crevices of my home as I prepare to swap my daughter’s room and the guest room so she can have more play space. Moving rooms has been quite an emotional process for her (softened with promises of a bunk bed), and also quite an emotional process for me, as I am forced to sort through another onion layer of my past lives and decide what I should toss and what’s worth keeping around for nostalgia’s sake.
This deep-clean go-around, several half-finished paintings, goofy inside-jokey cards from exes, and sentimental tchotchkes went in the recycling bin and the thrift-store pile. Things I couldn’t have possibly parted with during last year’s deep clean weren’t able to survive this year’s chopping block. This overall felt great to clear some energetic space, but the whole process is so exhausting, so subconsciously loaded with deeply conflicting feelings.
The sign of Cancer the Crab is chock full with the notion nostalgia… or even more so the beautiful Portuguese word saudade. Saudade is almost untranslatable, but it surrounds the idea of a dreamy, vague, and constant desire for something or someone that does not exist. It usually carries an assurance that this thing you feel nostalgic for will never happen again. One on-point definition is by Portuguese writer Manuel de Melo is "saudade: a pleasure you suffer, an ailment you enjoy." As I sit and wallow in the luxuriously melty 95 degree heat of Cancer season, this definition feels appropriate.
Feelings, feelings, so many feelings
There have certainly been lots of big feelings swirling around in my world- I live with a vivacious and stubborn 4 year old Scorpio and my deep-feeling Cancerian partner, and for me, the sign of Cancer falls in my 12th house of the subconscious, dreams, and the imaginal realm. Emotions have a tendency to rise and fall like waves, and as someone with no water signs in my chart, I am learning to surf on a daily basis.
They say that children come into their family line to help their parents grow spiritually, and I believe that my water-sign child is doing just that for me, helping me learn how to ride waves of emotion until they pass on by, rather than try to fix them or resolve them right away. I’ve noticed that the more I linger on the why behind a tantrum or outburst, the longer it stays. I’m starting to understand in my body that the best way to deal with- and learn from- feelings is to act like a crabs on a rocks in an ocean tide pool, allowing the waves to wash over me as the tide rises and falls, scuttling a little bit to one side or another if the wave gets too big, and then returning back to my place on the rock.
The Full Moon in Capricorn’s Audacity of Hope
On the flip-side of Cancer is the sea-goat Capricorn’s long term vision, goal for the summit of the mountain, and quest for spiritual ascension. Having a concrete and ambitious goal in mind, in my opinion, makes it easier to navigate these emo waves, and I have appreciated the tension between the wisdom of the deep feels along with the practical material actions that this Saturn-ruled full moon’s mirror brought forth. I found myself having more energy to do all the tasks like making doctors and dentist appointments, paying bills, and physically moving things to make space for new configurations, and this in turn took a lot of pressure off of “solving” for problems with an emotional nature.
As an aspirational antidote for all that wistful Cancerian saudade, on the full moon in Capricorn I signed a lease on a gorgeous upstairs studio/gallery space in downtown Santa Fe with my friend and co-conspirator Rei. I spent the day of the full moon moving my easel and loads of art supplies into the space, allowing myself to dream into a future that can and will arrive- a future filled with creativity, inspiration, collaboration, events, and focused-work sessions that will happen there.
It’s not every full moon that such tangible symbols of the archetypical signs show up in my life. But this lunation, I couldn’t help but notice this theme of care and responsibility embodied both by nurturing Cancerian emotional waves AND creating Capricornian structures for aspirations and goals. As above, so below; as within, so without. And so it may be.
A little recap: the polarities of the year so far
Now seems like as good a time as any to recap the first few full-moon polarities we’ve collectively experienced since the beginning of the astrological year:
Aries Sun - Libra Moon: (Fire sun-Air moon): The axis of identity (self vs. other)
Taurus Sun- Scorpio Moon: (Earth sun-Water moon): The axis of security (material vs. transcendental)
Gemini Sun - Sagittarius Moon: (Air sun-Fire moon): the axis of knowledge (local vs. universal)
we are in
Cancer Sun - Capricorn Moon: (Water sun -Earth moon): the axis of care & responsibility (attunement vs. achievement)
next up, after the new moon in Cancer, is the Aquarius full moon in Leo season:
Leo Sun - Aquarius Moon: (Fire sun -Air moon): the axis of expression (self expression vs. social expression)
How have these themes shown up for you each season this year? I’d love to hear from you!
xoxo’s and deep inhales until next time,
Alison
